Friday, October 27, 2006

Coping

I realize that I don't grieve very long. I think it's because I've had a lot of experience with it, and determined the best way to cope. After all, I'm all about efficiency.

What that means is that I now tend to put myself in a positive mindset with every situation. In addition, I also keep in mind that in the end, 'Que Sera Sera'. This may come off as emotionless or heartless, but I really wear my heart on my sleeve. I just know that sometimes it's healthier to change my shirt.

Feel emotions, experience them, move on. Do it with a positive outlook.

What I've also realized is that I find it hard to comfort other people well. I want to help people feel better, but my method includes making them smile and laugh (laughter is the best medicine, right?). It can also be inappropriate, and crossing the line is what makes me nervous, which in turn makes me uncomfortable.

This is how I feel right now. Boopy's is with his mother, who is in the hospital, hundred of miles away. I feel sad, in part through his grief for his mother, and in part of not being able to be there next to him. I've already relinquished control of this situation because this is what life dealt me, and I take each opportunity to speak with him on the phone.

During each call, I have this gut reaction to make him laugh or have him talk about his emotions; in essence, have him follow my grieving process. But I stop myself because it is his experience, not mine. So what I do is listen.

Stay strong baby. One day at a time. I'm here for you.

5 comments:

Will said...

Your boopy is lucky to have you. It sounds like you're doing the best things you can for all of you.

Marc said...

I think you are doing the right thing by exercising some restraint right now. You may find some opportunities to lighten things up along the way that may encourage him to do the same, but it's a serious time, and you need to try to respond his coping mechanism. Try a little diversion, not necessarily laughter/humor, and remind him of how much you love him. Discuss some past trek or activity that you both enjoyed. The one thing to remember is to be strong for him. He needs your emotional support. Hang in there. {{Hugs}}

GrooveTheory said...

I handle certain situations just like you. I think -- especially with someone who is very close to you, being in the same demeanor as them would just acerbate the situation.

Keep Boopy smiling while not digressing from the situation. I'm sure he'll appreciate it.

Robert said...

There are time for laughers, and otherwise. It's a sign of maturity. I hope his mother will be okay. Warm wishes come your way.

gurustu said...

When my sister-in-law passed away, there was nothing I really could say to console my brother. All I could do was just be there... to do the little things that needed to get done... or just do nothing at all.

Just being there is enough.