Wednesday, May 17, 2006

Goodbye Life Without Abandon!

And hello Life With Abandon!

For over a year I've lived a conservative lifestyle1. But soon, that will all change: I'm getting benefits!

Ah.. such a wonderous word: benefits. bene-, from the ebonical phrase be need, as in 'I be needing them benefits!'

But damn, there's so much to do to actually get the benefits. First off, I have to enroll. Which requires me to make decisions! Which means I have to do research. All this stuff is so involved!

All kidding aside, I wasn't opposed to doing the leg work, but where do I start? There was so much information! I turned to my friends and mentors. They advised that as a same-sex loving individual I should find a doctor that would be sensative to my needs - but where to find an assologist? I wasn't about to call up each doctor office listed and ask if there was a Dr. Seymore Butts (again).

So, as a gen-whatever, I turned to ever-dependable google; 'assologist' didn't yield many helpful results, and neither did 'gay doctor new york' - which returned information mainly about treating HIV/AIDS. When I found a list, how would I know which are good? Most profiles were incomplete and figuring out if they accepted my insurance was not easy at all.

All that said, the internet didn't fully disappoint; I found some helpful reference material:

I especially like's Ask a Doctor section. Have any more I should look into? For now, I think I'll go check out some recommended doctors and see how that goes. Wish me luck! I even bought a clean pair of tighty-whities2!

1 Not really; but it's all relative, right?
2 Why, C-IN2's Lo.No.Show.Army (with support) of course!
3 Can you believe that this didn't show up on any of my searches?! I only learned about them through friends!


Crash said...

So does this mean you'll start playing rugby?

epicurist said...

Ahh, I suppose we Canucks are lucky in our free benefits and health system.

As for your'e tightie whities, can we see? I'll play doctor if you'd like. ;-p

Steve said...

Congrats on the benefits! Make wise choices, 'cuz all that stuff is important.

GrooveTheory said...

Yeah, finding the right primary doctor, dentist, OB-GYN ;) is always hard. So, if you do make a mistake, you have exactly 365 days to worry about it. But GMHC would be a very good place to start.

gurustu said...

I heard you can also get friends with benefits.

eliza said...

did you really actually search for 'assologist' in google? lol

Anonymous said...

hey when are u free for lunches and wheres ur work place? maybe i can pop up sometime and we can chomp on stuff~ lisa