Now That I Think About It...

"[N]ow that i think about [it] you're like an asian metrosexual harry potter! dope!" - what buttaflihunnie said to me recently.

How freaking hilarious is that. That came from a conversation where I suggested I'd dress up like post-adolescent Harry Potter carrying magical sex toys for Halloween.

Speaking of which, that reminded me of a post on bigheadben.com: Horny @ Hogwarts.

What Do You Get...

What do you get when you cross a large warehouse and all the highschool theatre clubs in America?

Don't look at me, I don't know! But if you throw in frugal, costume-hungry New Yorkers with bloodshot eyes, you'd get the Theatre Development Fund (TDF) Costume Collection's "Moving Sale".

What a mistake it was to take the afternoon off from work; I should have called in sick, camped at the door 4 in the morning with hot chocolate in my Lion King thermos. I wouldn't have been the only one, believe me.

I went after lunch, arrived around 3pm, and the line was around the block. Entrance at 26th and 11th? I stood at 27th and 12th. For those not familiar, from 11th to 12th is an avenue block. This means it's actually five times as long as what you would consider a 'normal' block.

After the first hour (at around 4pm), a woman in a nice orange suit jacket started to hand out tickets for those still waiting in line so that they can get priority line placement tomorrow (I got #486). The Clash's "Should I stay or should I go now?" played in my head as I was doing the little annoyed bounce.

I left the line. Then across the street I thought, "Tomorrow?? There'll be nothing left but stained shirts and ripped tutus! And besides, they didn't say we couldn't still wait on line after getting a ticket. Hell, I'm not walking all the way here from Broadway to do this all over again tomorrow." Note, Broadway is about 7 avenue blocks away from 11th. But I lost my place in line! I sucked it up and waited at the end again. Luckily, a lot of other people fell for the devil in the orange jacket's trick and really left - I was only half a fool - and the line was considerably shorter.

After another hour wait (5pm), it turned out that they extended the hours until 6pm (and not the 3:30pm on the sign, nor the 4:30 on the newsletter) and I finally got in! And bags were only $10! Score! Right? Wrong. The shoppers that warned me while I was on line were right, "There's nothing but crap left, don't waste your time." Guess what was left. That's right. Stained shirts and ripped tutus.

Just kidding. That's only half true. Most of the women's and men's real 'costumes' were gone, and what was left was a hosh-posh of modern-looking stuff.

Where were the gladiator outfits, or the Lion King grass skirts, or the corsets from that mid-west highschool's production of Caberet? They were all taken by the biatches that ditched work to wait 6 hours on line.

I scrounged around the mens' stuff and found a couple of pieces to try and fit into my costume: I'm going for a vampire something (original huh?!). Instead of finding 18th century tunic with ruffles - I got 60s style tuxedo shirts with ruffles. I can make that work, right?

I felt like I shopped at the Salvation Army... You think they got any pirate shirts there?

Wait.. isn't that Garba.. Ooh! Artichoke!

So what's the next big thing in activism? Freeganism!

No, it's not the cause to end the governments' suppression of public orgasms. That's probably naturism & nudism; another cause I'd consider sponsoring if only for the fact of witnessing their 'non-violent' demonstrations.

Anyway, freegans are dedicated to "revealing human over-consumption and waste." How you ask? By not buying any food at all! Better yet, I'll quote from one of their website:

"[F]reegans choose to buy as little as possible of ANY good and instead live off the massive waste of modern capitalist society."

Laymans terms: they forage around in garbage for groceries, clothes, cd's, radios, and ipods. Wait.. isn't there another group like this already? Yes, the more popular National Society of the Home-Challenged (1,2). What'll happen if Corporate America cuts back on this unnecessary waste? Won't that be like cutting off sponsorship to the NSotHC? Think of the outcome! Soup kitchens will overflow with NSotHC members who once revelled in the bountiful gifts from their over-consuming corporate sponsors!

Anyway.. their ideals are in the right place; method is a little sketchy. In the meantime, I think I'll print out little fliers for the homeless:

"Need food? Hate panhandling? Be a Freegan! Just go to the website http://freegan.info/ and they'll show you how you can get food for *FREE* on the streets AND help society!"

Flier coming soon.

And now a diversion: Halloween is coming up. If you live in NYC, this is a week full of events for the Broadway show Wicked. Read more at Gothamist. Highlight: "Wicked Day" Block Party on Saturday, October 30th. Check out PLAYBILL for more info and locations.

Are you still looking for a costume for Halloween? Do you have $20? $10? what about $1??? TDF is having a moving sale (in NYC), and they're selling theatre costumes! Get yerself some threads!

Is that you Ashlee? Blame the Band!

Did anyone watch SNL this past Saturday? I didn't. And I now regret going to a reading of "Bottom of the World" (presented by WET - wetweb.org) at the Tribeca Theatre Festival, having a late brunch at Surya, then to Magnolia's for their wonderfully heart-stopping cupcakes, falling asleep at Banana Republic, catching I <3 Huckabees, and then having split pea soup at Friend of a Farmer on Irving Place.

Why you ask? Because I missed this!!

For those who are link wary, the video shows Ashlee Simpson dancing around like a retard while her song "Pieces of Me" played in the background -- with vocals! Lip-syncher! Story goes she was supposed to sing her new single, 'Autobiography'.

Then she blamed the band! Sure, why not! I know about those electronic instruments that can automatically start up audio equipment to play vocals! "Not that one! My new single, you fools!"

Anyway, I still like her songs. This isn't as damaging as the Milli-Vanilli debaucle - Ashlee still uses her own voice (or does she??). I mean, if Britney can do it, why can't she? She's also scheduled to perform at the Radio Music Awards! I know I'LL be 2 inches from the TV making sure her mouth is in sync with the words.

Oh, and I take it back: I don't regret all the things I did Saturday; only the falling asleep part. I <3 Huckabees is a funny movie. It's hard to explain why - but it is, trust me. It's subtle, and smart, and confusing, but not. I'd like to see it again as I was mostly in the eye-expanding 'don't-fall-asleep' mode.

Spanking in the John

In the October Issue of Details, there is an article about how people, specifically men, like pleasuring themselves in public; written by the fearless author with no shame, Augusten Burroughs.

He starts off with "catching" his talkative neighbor on a plane with spunk on his shoe, and using that to shame him into silence. To his surprise, he finds out that a lot of men are doing this. Some places cited are: public restrooms, saunas, taxis, office cubicles, gardens, and of course, the mile-high spank badge.

Here's a little blurb:

"I've jerked off in restaurant bathrooms, left a load right there on the counter. Haven't you?"

What most interviewee's contest is that it's not a straight or gay thing (with regards to the sauna), it's about a doing-it-in-public thing. I think a guest on Colin Quinn's Tough Crowd said it best, "Straight guys haven't been in the sauna at the gym since the mid-90's".

It was a Apex-Digital-Halloweegan-Tag-Sale Fun Weekend!

What a tremendously busy weekend this was. On Saturday, I started tutoring 4th graders in preparation for their end-of-year reading test. Wow. These kids are smart! I know I was NEVER that smart when I was in fourth grade. All I focused on were head-lice inspections and making up excuses why I needed another week for my report on Dolphins.

"Uhm.. I'll hand it in next week Mr. Randall. I'm going to Seaworld this weekend and I think that'll make my report extra special."

Nevermind that Seaworld was 1,086.64 miles away in Orlando, Florida. That reminds me, I still owe that report.

Saturday was also the Digital Life Expo at Jacob Javits Center in New York City. Video games up the wazoo. And can you believe they served Jamaican Rum for free?! Being tipsy and shooting people at the same time?!? Give me more! All I kept thinking was, "This is probably what it's like to be in one of those 'middle states'". Too bad I went with the sub-l33t; damn party poopers.

Speaking of party and poopers, special thanks to Ed Shepp-erino for inviting me to his Pre-Halloweegan party! I had a lot of fun. You guys are definitely a special bunch. Love the orange suit!

And if that wasn't enough for one weekend, I volunteered for the Get Organized New York Tag Sale in Central Park on Sunday! I was lucky I wasn't outside because it was cold like a witch's teat. Instead, I was right inside the front entrance, packing Ziploc Containers With New Snap 'n Seal Lids for shoppers as a free gift.

If you think that 4 or 5 of these (free!) containers per person was enough... you are wrong!! Oh, so wrong. One woman took nearly 40 of them! No one can have THAT many casseroles to keep. And if you did.. why??

I mean, I only took 20.

And now, Tie Week:

FeedBurner - Feed your life into Friendster

FeedBurner - Point your feed here. We'll do the rest.

With this service, you can publish your Blogger blog to other sites, such as Friendster. That's right folks! Friendster has a new option of putting your blog right onto your Friendster page! Just remember that Friendster requires "RSS" and Blogger has "ATOM" - which is why FeedBurner is so cool.

Just make sure you know where your Blogger feed is, get yourself an account at FeedBurner, follow the easy instructions (making sure you select the SmartFeed service), and boom, you got yourself a feed that'll work on Friendster.

You can thank me later.

In other news...
Thank you bigheadben for this incredibly funny clip (wmv)

Tie Week

I will be wearing a tie every day of this week. It will be strange because the company I work for dresses casual; most everyone dresses without collars! Look out for that fashion spread.

And now, here are two outfits previous outfits from the past week.

Happy Columbus Day!

I vegged out all day. Was planning to do something useful.. but didn't! Ha! Take that Day-Off!

Next weekend should be interesting. It's the first weekend of tutoring 4th graders through the Apex program. There's also the Digital Life expo - http://www.digitallife.com/. For a free ticket, use the code "digitallife" (disclaimer: author holds no liability if this code doesn't work).

Along with interesting events.. I made a pact with my friend Diana to improve our social lives. We have a plan to look into taking language or self-defense classes and joining book and social clubs. We want to make friends!

What people say about Gemini's

Some say they're two faced.

I say they're twice as fun.

Get Into This

Get Into This

So this crazy guy literally forced me to get a Blogger account - yes, forcing my fingers to tap the keys and click the mouse.

I think it was those nasty horns that's the source of his powers... Ouch.