Monday, July 31, 2006

He Stole Them While I Was in the Shower!

What, you ask? My damn sneakers!

It was after my Saturday run in Central Park with the Front Runners, when I was taking a shower at the upper west side gym, where I use their lockers to keep a change of clothes. Being raised in New York (and therefore 'street smart'), I lock up all my belongings when I know I can't keep an eye on them; except for my sneakers, where I place in front of my locked locker. Who wants smelly sneakers with their clean clothes, right?

I mean, who wants smelly sneakers at all?! (Except them of course.)

After my shower, I returned to my locker and my sneakers were gone! I thought the cleaning guy took them (to the front desk or lost and found); I mean, that's what I hoped as I continued to dress and scan the locker room (secretly grateful that I locked up everything else). Every single guy in a towel was suspect. The hotter, the more suspect.

Of course, they weren't at the front desk, nor did the cleaning guy take them. Instead, some crazy is probably using it as a champagne glass.

Well, the bright side is I get to go shoe shopping. Yay!


Will said...

It was probably one of your more stalker-ish readers.

GrooveTheory said...

"some crazy is probably using it as a champagne glass" EEEEW!

Ok, please tell me you didn't not strut yourself from UWS all the way to Brooklyn shoeless. Are these the cute Puma's btw?

Aaron said...

hmmm - there's something familiar about this story...

oh yeah - Eve Bunting wrote a book called Nasty, Stinky Sneakers

(read the summary)

Robert said...

That fuckturd!

tribecatexan said...

I think it's time to do what my brother did: post a flyer with picture of said missing used shoes near the gym with a clandestine email address to respond. And he found in his study, the more humor you put into it, the better the response.

So what shoes are you shopping for? I happen to like my Bikkenbergs.

Jon said...

I was raised in the burbs and I'm more street smart than you... shoes are what people are most likely to steal, silly. Aiyah

Adrian L. Acosta said...

didn't someone steal your umbrella once?

that'll learn you to buy nice stuff!