Thursday, August 25, 2005

Coming Out

Let me just start of by saying that guest blogging is hard. Especially if you have your own blog to keep up with. But I am really enjoying my time here!

So, let's talk about the ultimate decision most gay men will have to make in their lifetime - the coming out of the closet. As you probably already know (or maybe not), Jase will be celebrating his 9th month Coming Out anniversary next month. With him wearing pink shirts during Fleet Week and women's Diesel pants, you wouldn't think he just came out right? Yes boys and girls, Jase is a "newbie"! And I just love it that he came out in full force! It's like "Yes, I'm gay! AND? AND? Jealous?! Don't hate!" or "Yes! I'm gay! Choke on it bitch!". Ok, maybe that's a little bit too much. Sorry.

Anyway, coming out is hard. Especially if you live in an Asian household, where culture and tradition dictates homosexuality as evil. I can't speak for my Asian cousins, but being the Philippines is predominantly a Catholic country, homosexuality is an abomination to Christianity and the society. Though perfectly accepted nowadays, there's still that hesitance of the Asian male coming out to his family and to society. It's not something of the norm.

Meanwhile, I don't have a coming out anniversary. Not that my family won't understand. I'm pretty sure they will, as my family is quite liberated in a lot of ways. And, I'm sure they already have an inkling. It's just that we don't talk about it, that's all. It's sort of like, "Don't ask, don't tell" type of thing. I mean, is it really necessary to come out? I'm sure it's a great feeling to get that out of your system, but I'm still not getting the whole concept. Don't get me wrong! I have a lot of respect for people who came out to their families and friends, but I'm still a little bit clueless as to the whole purpose of it. Enlighten me gorgeous people!

I'm done posting for today. I'm beat!

11 comments:

Joel said...

Interesting. Thanks for sharing. I should share my own experience one day over on my blog. It involves parents and prostitutes.

MacboyX said...

Hmm mine would include my mom basically asking me and then throwing stuff at me.

:)

macboyx

Miss Marisol said...

Heterosexual people are not ever expected to have conversations with their parents about their sexual desires. Why shouldn't the same be true for the non-straight world?

However, I can understand how one could feel that s/he couldn't really feel alive if they could not face the one's they love and say, "I am gay."

jOjo said...
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jOjo said...
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JaG said...

Someone I know once told me she thought coming out was overrated and didn't see why it was necessary at all since straight people don't sit their parents down and go; "I need to tell you something: I'm straight." Maybe that's just liberal Dutchies talking, I don't know.

Matt said...

Whether you throw a giant Coming Out gala or not, you should be able to speak freely about your romantic relationships with your friends and family. Especially your family, if you are close them.

I think that's the main point. Besides don't think only of yourself. Your relationships are big part of your life, and to keep that from someone you care about [mother, brother, etc] is selfish. Yes, "coming out" in one way or another is important, I think.

Jennirhiow said...

my fren is the eldest and only son in the family... so u can tell that he hasnt opened to his mom and dad... but his closest cousin sister knows... and i think his younger sis too....

Jon said...

The weird thing is that many South Asian men, like in Philipines, Thailand and Vietnam are very feminine, which doesn't necessarily mean gay- I guess it's just cultural differences.

My parents just asked me if I was gay (on seperate occasions since they are divorced), I said yes, and that was that. However, I don't feel like telling my grandmother and my mom's friend's in Japan- let them figure it out on their own, or not know, at least for now.

I remember when I first chatted with Jase in emails and on the phone- I thought he was already out, but tings seem to be working out for him, so go Jase :)

kari said...

What a dilema. I don't feel it's anyone's business but your own. And how stressful it must feel to live with having to make a decision like that? I can't imagine.

no milk said...

i don't know how anybody manages to guest blog when they have their own blog. i think i want to do it, but then laziness takes over...

no milk please