Everyone got their resolutions? Great! Now do what I do and toss them in the nearest garbage can (or recycling bin if it involves paper, plastic, or aluminum). The whole concept of resolutions is just so.. irrelevant.
Maybe it's the fact that I also celebrate Chinese New Year (Lunar calendar), but I believe that deciding you're going to change your life shouldn't have to wait until this poor excuse for a holiday where thousands of people crowd around a two block radius watching a shiny ball drop. Call me crazy, but I think that's crazy. And just because I waited until Christmas to come out of the closet doesn't make me a hypocrite. (Does it?)
Now that I got that out of my system, my first year out of the closet has been a whirlwind. Won't you come join me down memory lane? Read more [+/-]
Last Christmas, I pretty much blew my closet doors open and came charging out - with the help and support of friends. Sorry if I ran over some of you. Anyway, I found myself asking... myself, "What the hell do I do now?"
The answer came to me quickly as only working in a career center for three years could - go out there and learn about your new career from the pros! So I set about trying to meet professional gay people, observe them, network, learn and mimic. And because I'm a tech geek, I did this online. After all, professionals have websites, right? I found some great gay blogs (see my blogroll), then emailed, chatted, met (GB:NYC2 was amazing!), drank, hugged, kissed, and touched inappropriately. Them gays sure are affectionate. And I like it.
But I also had another answer; one I give to many inexperienced students wanting gain some work experience to put on their resume: volunteer! No, I didn't become a whore. I volunteered for 'gay events', the first being the AIDS Dance-a-thon run by GMHC - can't get much gayer than that. It turned out to be a great experience and an excellent opportunity to find some philanthropic people (especially gay men). Other 'gay events' I've volunteered for included the Gay Life Expo, NewFest, AIDS Walk, and the Pier Dance.
Okay, so the truth was that I was looking for hot men so that I can become a whore. Somehow, meeting people through volunteering seems less sleazy than say.. downelink.com. But honestly, just because you can equate 'volunteer' with 'good will', you can't say the same for 'volunteer' and 'good looks'. Knowing this, I continued my 'online research' and met the first person I was sexually involved with. (The random guy I made out with at that bar doesn't count.)
I had been out for two months and I was definitely horny and disappointed I didn't try everything in the 'Big Book of Gay Sex' yet. But I moved forward slowly, and soon broke off the relationship because we didn't mesh well. It was harder than I thought - I had the notion that he could be my soul mate, but I was too cautious (heeding friends' advice) to let myself believe it. In the end, I'm glad I didn't give him my end.
During this time, I ventured out into the gay bar/club scene with my new set of gay friends. Learning to flirt with men was hard, especially eye contact - especially when closeted behavior forces you to avoid it. But I've been working on that skill; and used it to pick up potential boyfriend number two. It didn't work out but we ended up friends - it's all about the networking.
And this networking led to potential boyfriend number three, which I won't go into, but turned out to be the biggest head case of all. And isn't it so strange it's those you felt the most passion for? I guess the more you burn, the quicker you burn out.
Around the same time as number three, I received my 15 minutes of fame. Remember that? My homosexuality was announced in the paper and in three local news channels! As a friend said, "If they didn't know you were gay, well, they do now." Check this: during my company Halloween party, where I dressed up as a 'No Stopping or Standing' sign, a coworker from Denmark remarked that he read my story in a Danish newspaper. And this past November, I received the Spirit of Stonewall Award from Heritage of Pride for my actions.
It was a big year, chock full of gayness - not to mention my Brazilian wax, getting my first tattoo, and my three week vacation to Costa Rica. Can I top it in 2006? Actually, I'm not sure I want to. I'm going to head into the new year with the same goals and mentality I had when I came out of the closet that fateful Christmas nearly a year ago:
Be nice, be honest, and live life like it's the only one you got.
I've done well with it so far.
Oops. Almost forgot one other goal: to tickle my boyfriend, B, and to feed him lots of oysters. Did I just say boyfriend? Well, I guess it's a good sign I didn't shudder or break out in cold sweats.
Anyway, as your award for reading this, here's me and my new pair of jeans. Have a wonderful 2006!