Suspending Disbelief

Thanks to my boopy and Netflix, I had the first disc of Alias Season 1. It would be a great night in; cooking dinner and watching some serious girl-spy butt-kicking. After having some amazing pasta and meat sauce, the roommate and I retreated to the living room and popped in the DVD. I was thoroughly enjoying myself until about half way through the first episode. Read more [+/-]

Him: "Oh, that is so unbelieveable."

That is the first statement that started my roommate's tirade against the super-spy Sydney Bristow show. He claimed there were too many plot holes and wondered if they had hired any experts check for them.

Him: "Oh my god, gas can't blow up like that! It was going for 30 seconds!"
Me: "It's the tank that blew up!"
Him: "Yea right! The guys were shooting nowhere near the tank."
Me: "They were shooting at the pipeline that carried the gas!"
Him: "Well, that's not enough gas to make that kind of explosion."

He is middle eastern after all; and we know they're all experts in pyrotechnics. But this seemed to be his final straw:

Him: "How could they just let her in like that?"
Me: "Oh my god! Maybe because she was trying to win back their trust."
Him: "They could have done it smarter. Like detain her first. What if she had a bomb. Or if she went on a killing spree? I can't watch this."

I humored him (okay, I tried to convert him) and we debated for a while, but it was all in vain as no reason was good enough for him; he had made up his mind that he didn't like the show. Lucky for him he didn't say anything bad about Michael Vartan.

And like an overreacting Sydney talking to her astranged father, I sent him to his room and told him never to speak to me again (until the show was over). Personally, I think he doesn't like it when girls kick serious (guy) butt. I think it's a straight thing.

Out With the Old

And in with the new!

I couldn't stand the default template and had to update some things. Notice the new column on the right, new sections (such as Syndicate and Photos), and even a new link to my Frappr Map.

And with the new look, there's a new name!  I'm officially renaming this blog 'The Jase Chase'! If you were kind enough to link to me, I kindly ask you to update your links. But don't worry, my url (http://iilgemini.blogspot.com) won't be changing.

So, what do you think? Ready to start the chase? (I was so waiting to say that!)

Oh, you'll let me know if things look funny or don't work properly, won't ya? Thanks!

Still Figuring It Out

Okay, those who don't know me might think my last post was serious.  It wasn't; I think laughing and joking about stereotypes is a good way to address and recognize that they're just generalizations and, ironically, generally not true.

Plus they make good fodder for jokes.  At appropriate times and places with the appropriate people (in other words, your friends).  It was easy for me to learn growing up in the melting pot that is New York City.  I found it shows me how confident (and sensitive) people are about themselves.

That said, I'm equally likely to throw out stereotypical Asian jokes.  Last night at the bar:

Me: "I think I'm going to start rocking bow ties."
Friend: "Do you even know how to tie one?!"
Me: "Do I know?!  Hello!  We people invented origami!"

Nail salons, dry cleaners, eating dogs, having a small penis; I've heard it all (probably coming from my own mouth); that's because I know what the real deal is.  And I revel in the fact I know exactly what my uncle put in your kung pow chicken and moo shu pork.  :)

And since I'm on the subject of rac.. er.. natio.. um.. skin col.. eh.. different people, watch this hilarious video about inter-different couples by these guys.

Funny Because It's True

A discussion I had last week while having dinner with some highschool friends:

Me: "Do you notice a lack of black people at the Winter Olympics?"

Friend: "Yea."

Me: "It's because it's hard to have an ice rink in the middle of Africa!"

Insert chuckle here.  And I continue:

"Honestly, I think black people just make things more interesting."

At this point, I had an epiphany:

"If you think about it, those (winter game) sports are reserved for rich people.  I mean, just think about all the special equipment you have to buy.  Black people are either too poor or have too much common sense to spend money like that too busy buying diamonds for their teeth!¹  I mean, when was the last time you saw a black person playing lacrosse?  or hockey?  Other than the fact that their ancestors were slaves running away from white people carrying sticks, it's just too damn expensive to afford the equipment!  That's why black people are so good at basketball. You get one ball and BAM! you got 10 people playing! Football? 12 people on the street!  And track!  You don't need any equipment at all!"

Friend: "I think you've figured it out!"

We were cracking up so hard at that point that I couldn't even continue.

Me: "It's funny because it's true!"  I rest my case.

¹ Literary license thanks to rich.

Where Have All the Beanies Gone?

Boston was lovely, considering it was so cold that my testicles ascended into my body on more than one occassion.  Luckily I had my boopy around.  Hm.  I guess you didn't really need to know that.

I window shopped on Newbury Street, until I realized they didn't have sales tax on clothing, then all hell broke loose (on the sale sections, naturally); and sampled the infamous seafood of New England everyone raves about - which means having copious amounts of clam chowder everywhere I went.  Just kidding, it was all about oysters.  Memorable food stops inlcude B&G Oysters, McCormick & Schmick's, and Tantric, a wonderful Indian restaurant.

The gay scene was non-existant (I was staying near Boston's Chinatown); though I probably should have asked for advice beforehand.  A google search and a quick email to a beanie - that's what I'm calling Bostonians - confirmed it.¹

And for some reason, there wasn't a single shirtless piece of eye candy playing softball in the park.  What happened, Beantown?  I guess you dropped the ball on that one.

¹ Am I misinformed?  Let me know!  I'm only a 4-hour-$15-chinatown-bus-ride away!

VD Reviewed

Tuesday, with my boopy being out of town, I went to the anniversary show of WYSIWYG's Worst. Sex. Ever. with him (and saw him there too!).  3 years, wow.  Congrats!  [check out their rundown of the night]

It was hilarious! (Most of it, anyway.  Meow!)  At times I had to stop peeking over my shoulder at the cute guy two rows behind me because of the chest palpatations I had from laughing.  Almost makes me happy that I haven't had any bad sexual encounters... or have I?

And now, the ratings!

• Desiree Burch (5/5 stars):  Had me crack-a-lackin' laughing from beginning to end.  She seemed to be on fast-forward (trying to condense her 15 min piece to the 10 min time allowance) as she took us down ex-boyfriend lane, but all it did was make me (and everyone else) laugh harder.  Bravo!
• Emily DePrang (4/5 stars):  OMG, you delicious but broke-ass lesbian; I can't believe you whored yourself out on craig's list!  And for $60 ($53 if you subtract the cab-fare)?
• Todd Levin (4/5 stars):  Cute.  Funny.  Amazingly talented (just look at his resume).  Performance was flawless with great dialogue in the skits.  Ran way over, so I'm taking a star away.
• The Assimilated Negro (3/5 stars):  Drugs, sex, and the battle between light and dark - what more can we ask for in bad sex? Maybe a rap or two?  Next time TAN, next time.
• Greg Walloch (3/5 stars):  Great bad sex material. I'll have to pencil in your next appearances.
• Hanne Blank (3/5 stars):  Started off slow, but once she got going, it wasn't just her that got all wet.  Seen her do better material.
• John "Jonno" d'Addario (3/5 stars):  Told the story of trying to have sex with a drugged-out model he picked up at the corner deli: funny cause we've all been through that, too.  Right?
• Audacia Ray (2/5 stars):  Had some good material; delivery could have been better.  Had some laughs, but was more 'woe is me' than 'laugh at me'.

After chatting up Chris (5/5 stars - i <3 u), I made off with a cupcake (3/5 stars) to Romanticide (3/5 stars) at Soho 323, where Amnesia (4/5 stars - what's up with the bowl haircut?) was showcasing two of his works. Here's how it broke down:

• Entertainment: Animated Coochie Wonders (4/5 stars):  You guys totally rocked the Golden Girls theme song.
• Crowd (3/5 stars):  Slightly pretentious.  But props cause you let Amnesia write on some of you.
• Open Bar (1/5 stars):  What do you mean cheap vodka only?
• Art (?/5 stars):  After 3 drinks, they all looked like Monets.

And there you have it!  I'm going to make up for VD by heading up to Beantown (with few of my NSFW new best friends).  Have a great weekend y'all!

Just Another Day

I don't buy into the 'holiday' of Valentine's Day.  To me, it's akin to New Years resolutions: there shouldn't be a specific day to change your life, or in this case, show that special someone what they mean to you; it's all about spontaneity (and it seems that's what everyone on those dating sites is looking for.. err.. so I've heard).

That said, I LOVE the flowers my boopy got me.  Yay!

And now to appease the anti-Valentine's Day gods (and balance my yin with my yang), I'm going to hear some really bad sex stories (and possibly see some heart-breaking art).

Happy Valentine's Day, ya'll!

Weekend wrapup

On Wednesday, I wished him well (with a shot of Jager, of course) as he starts a new chapter in his life with a citrus state of mind.

On Thursday, he took me to Almost, Maine.  I liked it; it was cute.  And as it turned out, Jesse L. Martin was there; he was cute too.  (HA! Did you see that one coming from a mile away?)  Anyway, he's not as tall as I thought he'd be; I expected him to be of stature worthy of the NBA.

On Friday, I went to Rai Rai Ken for dinner with TribecaT after having a couple of drinks with some co-workers.  Hm.. I thought I'd have more to say about that.

On Saturday, I went to celebrate a wonderful friends' birthday at Romano's Macaroni Grill with 17 of her closest friends.  I'll first say that it was great to see people I haven't seen in a while, but I am never doing that again.

I didn't mind having only one waiter (who seemed to be under the influence of drugs) or having so much people it was nearly impossible to talk to people on the other side of the table, but having to supplement the waiter's tip because some people were too cheap (or inconsiderate, which is worse?) to chip in for the birthday girls' dinner is what did it for me.

The dinner itself was wonderful; food was good and we ran down memory lane and dug up embarassing stories about the birthday girl.. ah.. fun times.

On Sunday, due to the snow blizzard, I hibernated.  However, the day wasn't without fun events.  I watched out my window as five (clueless) women took two hours to get their SUV free from the snow, I cooked a delicious dish of red curry noodles with chicken, and Dick Cheney shot someone.  But the highlight of my day was watching the Olympics while my roommate and his guest had their own competition in his room.  "Oh Canada" was definitely more entertaining played to the music of "Moaning Through Thin Walls".

Back from St. Paul

Well, the reason why I didn't post much about St. Paul was because it was pretty much cold and boring.  Mall of America was disappointment¹.  I did find some good deals, but I defintely don't recommend going to Minnesota just for that (sales tax there was a whopping 6.25% for pete's sake!).

But despite all the negative points, I had a wonderful time; most of which was spent with my boopy (I could tell you about the stuff we did, but you probably wouldn't believe me²) - and to clarify, the 'booty call' I mentioned was to visit my boopy, not some random, cute bartender that worked at the restaurant in the Holiday Inn that I met on desperate-gays.com³.

Also, I have to admit that I was intrigued and entertained at times - like when I saw this sign:

There's some comfort in knowing I won't be pistol-whipped while watching Les Mis.

On a similiar note, if you plan to visit downtown St. Paul, definitely go visit Fuji-Ya (an amazing Japanese restaurant in the middle of nowhere) and the Downtowner Woodfire Grill (weekend brunch to die for).

¹ See some MOA pictures I took on flickr.
² Okay, I'm just teasing you on that one.  I wouldn't kiss and tell... or would I?
³ Just kidding.. but how many of you actually clicked on that link?

On a Flight to... Minnesota?

Who in their right mind would go to St. Paul, Minnesota in the middle of February?  Not me, that's who.

And in case you were wondering what I was implying, I'm not in my right mind.  I guess that's what boopy's do to you.

That's right!  Webcaming just wasn't cutting it, so in 3 hours, I'm jumping on a flight for my first long distance booty call ever!

And his hotel being 15 minutes away from here has nothing to do with my decision at all.  Nope.  Nada.  Zilch.  (Yay shopping!)

Doggie Style

I was emailing random thoughts (as I am apt to do) about Chinese New Year with Gurustu, and he came back with this:

Thanks!

And while I'm on the topic of random conversations, I had another one yesterday when I went back to the cafe where the fash mag slag had his unfortunate incident (after enjoying a wonderful restaurant-week-prix-fixe dinner).  After seating us, the flirty waiter smiled at me and said, "Don't worry, we have the paramedics on call."

I guess the memory of someone fainting in your cafe doesn't easily fade; much like their Snickers peanut butter pie.  Mmm... peanut butter pie...

Btw, it's tax-free week in New York City; and yes, I've already taken advantage of it.