Three years since parting the London flat where they had all lived, laughed, and loved, Jase, Texan Hottie (THottie), New York Chick (NYChick), and the Hungarian Hunk (HHunk) were going to be reunited again.
This is the story.. of four former flat-mates.. that reunite in Ft. Lauderdale.. for a weekend of fun.. in the sun. The Real Real World: London Reunion Special!
Episode 1: A Rocky Departure Read more [+/-]
A conversation over email:
[Jase]: "Sorry all. I'm tired of trying to find cheaper flights. It's freakin Easter. I don't think I'm going anymore."
[NYChick]: "What about the weekend after?"
[Jase]: "HHunk leaves beginning of April, by that time it'll be too late."
[HHunk]: "Szia! I leave mid-April!"
[Jase]: "I'm an idiot. We're going to Ft. Lauderdale!"
Jase and NYChick would fly from New York City, THottie from Austin on Thursday night, and HHunk would ride down from Pompano the following afternoon. Then the problems started. Flying out from New York, Jase and NYChick's flight would be delayed due to a plane "possibly losing" a wheel during takeoff. False alarm.
On the flight, Jase takes out his book with the words "Gay", "Marine", and "Porn Star" on the cover. NYChick takes her eyes away from her romance novel and glances at Jase's book.
[NYChick]: "Jase, so are you... what it says on the book?"
[Jase, with his signature 'What the hell are you talking about?' look]: "A porn star?"
[NYChick]: "No", lowers voice, "... that." pointing to the word 'Gay'.
[Jase]: "Oh.. that, yea."
Jase had completely forgotten he hadn't told NYChick yet, and now he was outed by a book. They made it to their hotel in Ft. Lauderdale hotel an hour late. THottie wasn't so lucky. Her flight was continually delayed due to inclement weather and ultimately missed her connecting flight. Luckily, she was able to find another flight the next morning.
Episode 2: Beach Bums Read more [+/-]
Friday morning, Jase and NYChick woke up early and headed to the beach across the street. THottie arrived shortly after and the rest of the afternoon was spent on the beach socializing, sunbathing, and looking at hot guys in speedos.
[Jase]: "THottie, sit up so I can pretend I'm taking a picture of you."
[THottie]: "Like this?"
[Jase]: "Move! Your boobs are in the way!"
By late afternoon HHunk had arrived and they took in the sights and sounds of Las Olas Boulevard. Jase was determined to find the hottest gay spots Ft. Lauderdale had to offer. They ventured into Cathode Ray where it was happy hour and left with a copy of Hot Spots magazine.
After going through the magazine and 'reading the articles', they all decided that Coliseum, a "gay mega dance club", would be the best destination. After consulting the concierge (whom later flirted with Jase and handed him a copy of 411 Magazine), they were on their way!
Friday night, the club was popping! There was even a show at 1 am.
[NYChick]: "Is that a drag queen?"
[NYChick]: "OMG, did she just poop out a dildo from her pants?"
[NYChick]: "Did she just poop out 3 more to the song of 'Doo doo brown'?!"
[NYChick]: "Is she using one of her dildo's as a mic?!"
Feeling the house music and alcohol, Jase got up on one of the raised platforms and got jiggy with it. It was around 2:30 am when they finally decided to leave; or more accurately dragged Jase, kicking and screaming, off of the platform. It was supposed to rain the next morning, so they decided they could sleep in.
Episode 3: Straight People are Boring Read more [+/-]
And rain it did. Scattered thunderstorms kept them inside most of the morning. It had stopped by 2 in the afternoon, and under a cloudy sky, they enjoyed Thai food and a leisurely stroll to the only Starbucks in the area; a good, relaxing way to kill time before nighttime festivities.
[Jase]: "THottie, you want to go to Wilton Manors, the gayborhood, right?"
[THottie]: "I don't care. There's less pressure for me around gays. Last night, someone thought me and NYChick were a cute couple!"
[HHunk]: "No! After four weeks here and no ass, we're going, and I'm getting some!"
Their first stop was Voodoo Lounge, raved by the gay concierge as 'the place to be.' THottie walked around the hip hop room commenting how no one was dancing. To Jase's dismay, a gaggle of girls jumped onto the bar and started to dry hump each other's legs in an attempt to be sexy. It's a wonder how mini-skirts can make men, like HHunk, suddenly feel really thirsty.
[Jase]: "They look retarded."
[THottie]: "Straight people are boring."
[Jase]: "I know. I'll be right back."
Jase wandered back to the entrance where the money collector was.
[Jase]: "Are there any gay bars around here?"
[Money collector]: "No, but there are some close by and they're all in the same area."
[MC]: "Hold on." To some girls,"that's $5 each, girls." Back to Jase, "Okay, it's an area called Wilton Manors."
[Jase]: "Cool. Can I walk there from here?"
[MC]: "No. 10 min cab ride."
A little while later they went bar hopping, one straight bar after the next. Everyone generally had a good time; Jase especially as he observed HHunk's techniques at picking up chicks.
At 4 am, downtown shut down, and they all headed back to the hotel. Since it was only 3 hours till sun rise, Jase suggested they all watch the sun rise; they all agreed.
Final Episode 4: A New Dawn Read more [+/-]
Jase was the only one with enough conviction to stay awake and witness the dawning of the new day; he was also the only one to get less than 4 hours of sleep before check out time. Having booked evening flights, everyone left their bags with the concierge and headed for the beach for a few more hours of sun, sand, and surf (and speedo).
[THottie]: "Is the guy in the red speedo gay?"
[Jase]: "Nope, he's just a muscle-head."
[THottie]: "Are you enjoying the view?"
[Jase]: "Not really. He's too lumpy."
After the beach, they took a cab to HHunk's apartment to shower and change. By the time they finished, they had enough time for a quick late lunch and then it was off to the airport.
[Jase], [THottie], [NYChick], [HHunk]: "Miss you!" "Love you!" "Had a good time!" "See you soon!" "Thank you!" "Hug me!" "Picture!" "Miss you!" "Okay!"
[Security Guard]: "HEY! You can't park here!"
The moral of today's story is: no one has to get laid, paid, or spayed to have a good time; although this writer was hoping to catch a glimpse of that Blue Danube.