Last night, as we were having drinks, I asked my friend my question of the week: What do you think about 'friends with benefits'?
Being the 'liberal' person that he is, he surmised that it works out fine if both parties understand and accept the relationship for what it is.
And then we went to the bathhouse around the corner. Read more [+/-]
Just kidding.
Later on during dinner, he turned the question back on me: What did I think about 'friends with benefits'. What did I think?
Apparently, I had been so interested in figuring out what other people thought, I didn't take much time to think about it myself. With Malibu and ginger ale coursing through my veins, I took a minute to process it.
"Ultimately, I think one person will always see the relationship as more than what is there."
I realize I'm probably speaking about myself. Knowing that I couldn't sleep with someone without having some sort of romantic feelings, me having a 'friends with benefits' relationship (and keeping it strictly about sexual gratification) would be like Star Jones wearing anything from H&M: it just wouldn't fit right.
He told me I was wise.
Well, I'm either that or completely neurotic.
Thank ya'll for your advice!
9 comments:
Of course, some "benefits" are better than others. I personally am very impressed by a large 401(k) and a generous vacation plan. :)
No I'd say you're wise, because its the same comclusion I reached.
Well, Star Jones has lost a lot of weight, she just might fit into something.....
I find that friends with benefits only works if it's someone who you don't really know well, which would make it a f**k buddy and not an actual friend. Glad you reached yor decision- it would be too awkward and dramatic to go through with it, I think.
*Pat* *Pat* *Pat*
:o)
wise. It's best to keep the fuck-buddies emotionally distant. Becoming friends with one, or fucking a pre-existing friend is bringing a level of emotional connection and intimacy that the limitations of the relationship do not allow.
Eventually, emotions will either:
a) want you to take it further
b) ruin the friendship
c) both
wise.
i should learn from you... ugh... now i'm going through something like that... kinda... well... ok, it involves feelings and a friend that has pretty much unlimited benefits when it comes to me.... i'll blog about it. shit...
I'm still friends with one of my ex fuck buddies, but we were friends before we "got together" so I don't know if that counts. I know he's probably the one on the "seeing it for more than what it is" side. Still. Even though I've been with my current boyfriend for over two years now.
Very wise, Jase. And honest. I've said it before - you're way ahead of the game.
michael: If only I could find one with a good oral.. I mean dental plan.
Everone else: Thanks for your support! Validation feels all warm and fuzzy. :)
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