Thursday, September 29, 2005

Roommates: Raunchy and Rancid

This past Tuesday I went to another WYSIWYG Talent Show (what's this?): First, Last, and Insecurity: The World's Worst Roommates.  To be honest, I didn't have high expectations as a friend told me these things could be incredibly boring.  No expectations = no disappointment, right?  But to be fair, the four previous shows I've been to were incredibly entertaining, often to the point where I peed myself.

Quick shoutout to my peeps I saw at the show: him, her, him, him, him, him, him, her, and TribecaT and his roommate.

In the spirit of the occasion, I was going to offer a short roommate horror story of my own; but most of my roommates were okay.  Read more [+/-]

There was one who started to have sex with his girlfriend while I was in the room.  But I can't complain (even though I did at the time), he was comfortable with it, and really, I wanted to catch a glimpse of his package.  (What?  I was still in the closet, I was not getting any action, and he was a football player.)  And the fact he let his blonde hair, blue-eyed, 6'2" football buddy sleep over when he was away more than made up for it.  (And for those curious, he was a tight end and slept in very loose boxers.  Mmm hmm.)

And then there was this roommate I had when I studied abroad in London.  Let's call him Eri.. I mean Dino.  Dino was Jewish, an only child, and raised in Staten Island (or as some of you might know, Shaolin).  Yes folks, this meant that he was well-off, spoiled, and treated like a prince at home.  This also meant that he had no social skills, lacked manners, and worst of all, didn't know how to take care of himself or perform the simplest sanitary tasks, like putting a cup in the sink or covering his mouth when he sneezed.

However, the most disturbing part was not that he had braces, but that he would display them to us... when he was eating... while making a pursed-lip sucking noise... as he constantly sucked the food out of his braces as he chewed.

Thankfully the four other flatmates I lived with were much more considerate.  They more than made up for Eri.. I mean Dino.  I don't remember a specific story that involved him because the four other flatmates and I generally tried to avoid him.  Or for the purpose of self-perservation, sanity, or karmic balance, I subconsciously erased them from memory.  And there you have it.

And now for some real entertainment, my personal style for Fall 2005: preppy/military chic!

Personal Style Fall 2005


GrooveTheory said...

I'm the biggest complainer/whiner, so I don't think I can live with anybody (but my family) at home. I nit pick on stuff. But those are funny stories though.

The military chic look? I did that last year :) LOL I'M KIDDING! But you look lovely, as usual Mr. Jase! So, where's the Nazi jacket?

Miss Marisol said...

Me likey the Fall 2005 looky. Oh, and thank you for the lovely e-mail. It was a pleasure to meet your fine ass as well.

Dantallion said...

Hmmm. Sexy look.

MzOuiser said...

Just please don't shave your head.

Ethan said...

I wish I lived somewhere I could see a bunch of blogging friends!!

Deviant said...

OMG, I've got roomie stories!

I called the cops on one, he had red hair and was 200 pounds, he was on meds for depression.

Another had so much junk in his house that he couldn't walk to his room, so he slept next to me in what was supposed to be my bed. I stayed there for two weeks.

Another one lived with his boyfriend, a Brazilian illegal alien, and they would physically fight each other and wrestle around the house. I tried to kill them once by leaving the gas on.

I'd go to this WGYSI thing but I hate bloggers :(

Matt C said...

K, you've always got to 1up someone, don't you?

Well, Jase, I've got a good roommate story. My first year in college, my roommate was this hot italian breeder guy who would do an exorbitant amount of sit-ups and push-ups every night before going to bed. Shirtless. He let me watch. :) God bless Italy.

Wayne said...

The tie... Is that Express Men or Kenneth COle?!

oh gosh, talking about roommates... now you've got me some ideas for my future posts :)

TCho said...

Nice look! I haven't decided on mine yet.

epicurist said...

You little fashionista the tie!