Friday, September 30, 2005

Young Daddy Can You Hear Me?

It warms my heart to see a father and son bond as they walk down the streets of Chelsea, their arms wrapped around each others waist.  Did I say 'father'?  I meant 'Daddy'.  Read more [+/-]

To those who don't know what a 'Daddy' is, he's an older gay man (by that I mean "old enough to be the father of") who dates younger men, showering them with the fortunes of his success.  They date younger men because they want to relive their youth; the most popular reason being they came out late in life and never had a chance to openly party like it's 19991.

On the flip side, these younger men, generally referred to as a 'boi', fully take advantage of this generosity and enjoy fancy dinner parties, vacation trips to exotic destinations, and the latest fashion accessory that is neither practical nor necessary2; and all he has to do is look like a pretty trophy3 and give up the booty.  Sounds like a sweet deal to me.

Before all you Daddies (and trophy bois) go on the defensive, I'm not attacking your lifestyle - do whatever the hell you want.  That was just a prologue.  What I'm more interested in discussing is this new (to me?) concept of a 'Young Daddy'.

So what is a 'Young Daddy'?  He is a mature, young, and independent gay man.  In a relationship, instead of being the trophy, he acts as the 'Daddy' of the relationship - being the decision maker, paying for dinner, buying the latest fashion accessory, that is neither practical nor necessary, for himself.  He is attracted to older men because they are looking for a mature partner, having 'been there, done that' with the party/club scene.

And it makes sense: the gay community has made progressive strides in the past few years, and gay men are coming to terms with their (homo)sexuality at a younger age.  With more families/communities being accepting, they have little reason to stay in the closet.  As a result, they party/fnck/club/do drugs/go crazy along with the rest of their age group.  Hence, they mature and establish themselves at a younger age.

Some older men like dating Young Daddies because it absolves them from always making the decisions4.  And it's nice to be taken care of once in a while.

What about me, you ask?  I fall somewhere in between.  As you might know, I didn't come out until after college so I never experienced 'adolescent dating' like my straight friends did.  (I didn't let that stop me from going to parties and having fun though.)  Now that I'm out of college, and out of the closet, I'm mature, independent, and financially stable.  But because I didn't live out the gay lifestyle when I was an adolescent, I just wanna rock n' roll all night (and party everyday).

I feel like a 'Daddy', just 20 years younger.

And since I've started dating, I find myself attracted to older men because they are more mature, established, experienced, use big words like 'hence' and 'therefore', and have their own source of disposable income (so I don't have to pay every time we go out).  But I find it hard to relate to them due to the fact that when they were watching the Golden Girls, I was probably still doing poo poo in my pants.  Not to mention that time has taken a toll on their bodies5.

Perhaps I need to find myself another Young Daddy.  Someone young, smart, and established who also finds time to appreciate Janet, Britney, and Christina by getting down and dirrrty.  If you find this person, kindly send them my way.  You'll be handsomely rewarded.

Young Daddy Jase is an expert in relationships that has gone on 20 numerous dates with 5 many people.  He graduated from Stony Brook University with a Bachelors of Science in Information Technology.  He wrote this because he read the article 'Who's The Daddy' in Instinct, issue no. 77.  He can tie a cherry stem into a knot with his tongue.

1Since I have no statistics on this, this claim is just hearsay.
2Does anyone really need a $500 leather thong?
3Check out this Washington Post article about trophy boy, Andrew Cunanan
4I've dated this older man who loved it when I made all the decisions, took control of the situation, and 'told him what to do'.
5Yes, I am superficial, too.


Steve said...

I'm currently watching a friend in the Sugar Daddy phase slowly self-destruct. Cool post, Jase, and pretty much right on, too.

Kiss My Mike said...

Nice write-up. I think I saw you at PS 122 during the WYSIWYG talent show, or was it you?

tribecatexan said...

Me! Me! Me!

Now what kind of reward do I get?

TCho said...

Yeah, I just started dating a 40 year old guy (I'm 28), and that's the furthest I've ever gone in the age difference. I'm a little hesitant, but I really like the guy.

GrooveTheory said...

Well, as the token "older Asian", I can definitely say I'm a young Daddy. Although, I would never refer to myself that. I've dated older guys, but it just didn't work out. Maybe, I would like to date a 'young Daddy-type' myself. Not too young, not too old, but emotionally mature.

This is a great post btw! LOVE IT!

fish said...

You forgot the situation where the younger guy is really attracted to older men. I am 62 years old and do not have a lot of money. Still, I have had several wonderful boyfriends who were 30 years younger. They went with me because they found me sexually appealing and charming, not because of the small amounts of money I spent on them. I was not trying to recapture my youth by going with them. They were charming, caring, interesting, and sexually appealing.;

Ethan said...

Daddies are very common out here in Vegas. Its fun to see them on the strip with their boys in tow!

Wayne said...

"FEEL LIKE A DADDY" --?~?~?~?~?~?!?!?

Oh come on, I thought we're suppose to feel like a "PRINCESS" at ALL time!! (or at least, Sugar Plum Mommy Fairy)

Deviant said...

It doesn't matter, you're all still going to hell.


Harlis Dinwiddie said...

With Golden Girls playing a few times a day on Lifetime, you have your chance to catch up!

Jon said...

The 'daddy' from the bar the other week has finally stopped calling me. Yay!

Miss Marisol said...

I love that Andrew Cunanan's mother described him as a "high class gay prostitute." So proud.

One of my boys had an impotent wealthy sugar daddy for a while who housed him and paid his phone bills. But, these situations always seem to end badly.

Because, eventually, both parties become spent, in every manner.

jOjo said...

wow, the gay wikipedia by jase

epicurist said...

You know sweet stuff, for a newly out homo-fag, you sure do have the lingo and socio-cultural environment well mapped out. I think you ought to start giving tours. I gave my crown up about 5 years ago.