Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Confidence: Food for Thought

Hi.  My name is Jase and I'm a Potato Queen1.

Is it then hypocritical for me to complain about Rice Queens?

Okay, I won't.  But I will tell you that I'm starting to become more proactive when it comes to dating.  I'm done with being passive, waiting for the next Rice Queen to come hit on me.  I've always been told that if you want something, you need to go out and get it.

Prior to a few months ago, I have never told another guy I liked them (in the 'All I wanna do is zooma-zoom-zoom-zoom in a boom-boom' way).  I can trace it back to when I was in the closet.  Being in the closet, you didn't want anyone to know you liked boys, and admitting to another boy you liked him seemed just a tad counterintuitive.  I would compensate my lust for him by being rude, distant, and uninterested.  I even convinced myself they wouldn't be interested in me, not even as a friend.  Basically I was being a dick in denial.

The one time I did show some amiable feelings toward another guy, he accused me of being gay and then proceeded to tell everyone.  That pushed me even more into denial.  What's funny is if a guy friend I'm not attracted to accused the same thing, it wouldn't bother me.  But I digress.

Fast forward to now.  I'm out of the closet; but out of sheer habit, I continue to raise those mental warning flags, "Warning, he's attractive!  Don't look at him!  Start acting distant and rude so he doesn't know you like him!".  Old habits die hard.  I even catch myself acting hyper-masculine when meeting new people so they might think I'm straight.

I'm working to change that.  I'm going to be confident.  I'm going to take risks.  I'm going to go out there and get what I want.  That way, I have no reason to complain about Rice Queens and how I seem to only attract them.

And last Friday, when I was out with Groove [his account], Watersea, and TribecaT, I built up enough courage to approach two extremely hot men (that everyone at the bar was obviously staring at) and introduced myself.

I'm actually really proud of myself for doing that.  And it can only get better from here.

1Potato is slang for a gay Caucasian male (something to do with Irish people and potatoes).  Check out Todd Wilson's Rice & Potatoes.


Matt C said...

What's a potato queen? Or you were just being rhetorical?

Jase said...

Potato Queen is an Asian who only dates Caucasians.

Interestingly, a black person who only dates white people is called a Snow Queen.

Jon said...

They have a festival in Idaho where they search for a potato could be it!

GrooveTheory said...

I'm a proud Potato Queen myself thankyouvermuch! And I am very proud of you that night. I didn't realize that was a first for you too! KUDOS! And regarding you acting all butch. Yes! I concur! TribecaT and I were checking you out while you were speaking to the chef/owner of the restaurant. I was like "Is Jase acting butch or what?!". But that's ok. I understand. There are times that we have to butch it up a bit.

Steve said...

I'm Steve, and I'm a Rice Queen. My friend from Thailand had to explain it to me, 'cuz I'm sometimes daft like that. It must run in my family, because my sister's husband is Chinese. So, that make me curious... what would that make her?

TribecaT said...

Sometimes I really think I'm a potato chaser (only because all of my exes are white, blonde, blue eyes -- except for the one black hair brown eyed one). I blame all of this on my first crush.

But really, I'm an equal opportunity homo. It's not cause I'm desperate -- men with personalities I fall for are so rare!

jOjo said...

Oh, I thought you were gonna talk about enemas.

Disappointment all over... like chocolate on my body, ready to be licked... *mmmm* disappointment

Gurustu said...

Congrats on going after what you want... it's your best path for actually getting it.

And what is a black person who only dates Jewish people... a Snow Cohen?

Matt C. said...

I'm white and irish [not off the boat, my grandparents were from Ireland], so that makes me to a total potato. But this is news to me. Who's in charge of stereotyping food with ethnic groups? Me = Potato? Just that's just not fair.

Rice...can be short or long and usually sticky. Totally see how that fits.

Potato...smells like dirty and lumpy.

I'm not lumpy, I swear.

So, are you really potato queen? :)

Anonymous said...

aw what's wrong with the asian boys?
be careful of the asian fetish! (now you'll feel what i feel all the damn time! 'do you just like me because i'm asian? i will not get you slippers!')


Jase said...

jon: If it were Ireland, I'd SO be there.

groove: I was acting butch? I thought I was just acting normal. Good topic for another post though.

steve: rice king! I know a couple of them too ;)

TribecaT: oh honey, you're a potato queen. just accept it and move on!

jojo: soon my dear, soon.

stu: touche! love it!

matt c: honey, I love potatoes. They're good every which way you take 'em.. fried, baked, scalloped.

ma: lol! That is so true! I see another great rant post coming off of that one!

Deviant said...

I'm a size queen, the duchess of potato, beaner high priestess, and the entire royal family of hard dick.

Matt C. said...

So what am I if I only want latinos?

Wayne said...

You have such a lovely soul. And courage that even the PRINCESS lack. *MUAH* *MUAH* I would never have the guts to approach those two guys the way you did... I probably ended up fainting in their laps and pretend that I'm a Chinese tourist seeking autographs from two American momo's
You've gone so much further than I have in life. :) things will only get better - and sexier!!

matt.c: Let the princess answer you. You would be a BEAN QUEEN.

Matt C. said...

I feel so uncultured.