Hi. My name is Jase and I'm a Potato Queen1.
Is it then hypocritical for me to complain about Rice Queens?
Okay, I won't. But I will tell you that I'm starting to become more proactive when it comes to dating. I'm done with being passive, waiting for the next Rice Queen to come hit on me. I've always been told that if you want something, you need to go out and get it.
Prior to a few months ago, I have never told another guy I liked them (in the 'All I wanna do is zooma-zoom-zoom-zoom in a boom-boom' way). I can trace it back to when I was in the closet. Being in the closet, you didn't want anyone to know you liked boys, and admitting to another boy you liked him seemed just a tad counterintuitive. I would compensate my lust for him by being rude, distant, and uninterested. I even convinced myself they wouldn't be interested in me, not even as a friend. Basically I was being a dick in denial.
The one time I did show some amiable feelings toward another guy, he accused me of being gay and then proceeded to tell everyone. That pushed me even more into denial. What's funny is if a guy friend I'm not attracted to accused the same thing, it wouldn't bother me. But I digress.
Fast forward to now. I'm out of the closet; but out of sheer habit, I continue to raise those mental warning flags, "Warning, he's attractive! Don't look at him! Start acting distant and rude so he doesn't know you like him!". Old habits die hard. I even catch myself acting hyper-masculine when meeting new people so they might think I'm straight.
I'm working to change that. I'm going to be confident. I'm going to take risks. I'm going to go out there and get what I want. That way, I have no reason to complain about Rice Queens and how I seem to only attract them.
And last Friday, when I was out with Groove [his account], Watersea, and TribecaT, I built up enough courage to approach two extremely hot men (that everyone at the bar was obviously staring at) and introduced myself.
I'm actually really proud of myself for doing that. And it can only get better from here.
1Potato is slang for a gay Caucasian male (something to do with Irish people and potatoes). Check out Todd Wilson's Rice & Potatoes.