For an amazing New Years Eve experience, fill your night with the easy-to-follow recipes! You're sure to have a night you soon won't forget! And you'll be asking yourself "When will this night ever end.." all night long!
Sulk-glazed Rack of Guilt Read recipe [+/-]
- 6 New Years Eve party tickets
- 5 fashionably dressed party-goers
- 1 ghetto-fab thug
- 1 tall, dark, and mean bouncer
Puke Pant Patties Read recipe [+/-]
- 1 drunk bastard
- 1 handsome hottie in a black suit
Subway Strong-Island Iced Tea Read recipe [+/-]
- 5 scantily dressed and lost Strong-Island chicks
- 1 lesbian-looking lost Strong-Island chick
- 1 girl with clueless boyfriend
- 1 subway map
- 4 smart-ass subway riders
Subway Bitch Slap Sandwiches Read recipe [+/-]
- 1 drunk couple
The 5-to-35-dollar Cab Ride Pie Read recipe [+/-]
- 3 exhausted party-goers
- 1 cell phone
- 1 asshole cab driver
- 1 $5 cab ride
Syrupy Cold Sore Topping Read recipe [+/-]
- 1 cold sore
Serving It All Together
I was lucky enough to taste each one of these recipes on New Years. Read how it all went down [+/-]
First, the club's bouncer said that it would cost $40 to let one of my friends in the club because of the way he was dressed (sneakers and jeans). Deciding it was too expensive, even after I offered to pay, he took his girlfriend and left. That made S feel guilty for leaving them, and she spent the rest of the night checking up on them instead of dancing with me.
While outside the party getting fresh air, some drunk bastard puked right next to me. No warning, that bastard, and it splattered on my pants.
Going home on the subway, some poor boyfriend was being flashed cleavage by Long Island girls as they looked at a subway map trying to find Penn station. It was really funny to see him trying to avoid staring at their cleavage. Some subway riders were getting annoyed at their loud and obnoxious ways and started to give them wrong directions; not me of course.
On another subway line, the woman of a drunk couple was literally having a mental breakdown. Not caring who heard her she spilled the beans on their relationship. The boyfriend was not happy. They provided us with an hour of entertainment.
We then took a cab from the subway to my house. E left her phone in the car. After the asshole cab driver lied about meeting us where he dropped us off in 10 mins, he made us wait 2 hours at a gas-station, until his shift ended, before returning the phone. He also ran the meter to $30, making our $5 cab ride $35. Then I had to drive E and S home; I didn't get to bed until 7 in the morning.
And can you think of a better time to get a cold sore than New Years Eve?! Talk about being a leper and noone giving you a New Years kiss.. sigh.
I hope this doesn't set the tone for 2005.
Oh yes, Happy New Year! I hope your New Year Eve was less bitter and more sweet!