Tuesday, February 01, 2005

Singled Out or Coupled In

I listen to morning talk radio while I get ready for work, and one of the subjects today was the difference in social preference people adopt whether they're single or in a relationship.  Read more [+/-]

On the show, those that were in a relationship said they would rather stay home with their significant other (SO) rather than go out to a bar with their single friends.  One of the single guys said that if he was in a relationship, he'd always go out due to the fact he had to look at same person all the time (hm.. maybe that's why he's not in one).

One caller called in saying they'd always prefer staying at home with their SO because they'd be bored at the bars (while others play the dating game).  Another caller called in saying that her husband is ALWAYS out with his buddies (firemen and their fraternal relationships) and she never gets time with him.

I wondered as I showered if and when I'm with someone, would I go out or stay in?  Ideally, I'd probably split it half and half - I like to cuddle and I like to go dancing.

The last part of the discussion they had was that as a couple, people tend to lose their 'single' friends and start making more 'couple' friends.  Then I realized that most of the gay friends I had now are in couples.  Although I'm pretty certain I won't lose touch with my amazing 'coupled' friends, I started to think about what leads to this diversion.  I came up with different social needs - I'd probably enjoy myself more in a social club meeting new, potential dates, where as couples would probably enjoy the company of other couples.

Maybe I need to find more single gay friends?  Or find myself a SO.  Which is easier to do within 13 days?


Pony said...

The "disappearance" of friends once they get coupled is something I could write an entire post about... but that's not the point.

I actually feel more comfortable at the bar when I have a boyfriend... whether he's physically there or not. To me, the bars ain't about getting a date: it's a social environment. I love my boyfriend, but my friends are still important and that won't ever change.

In 13 days? Either option earns you a "good luck" answer. It's not easy finding GOOD friends (you could probably meet quite a few aquaintences in that time), and since your SO should, in reality, be your absolute bestest friend... it's a time investment!

Anonymous said...

Compromise - get a f-buddy - the best of both worlds.

wink - A

Wayne said...

Hrm, I have "single" and "double" friends... and my life style hasn't change much... I still go out with my single friends... And still go out with "double" friends...

It's just going out, ya? why make things complex?

(Actually, my BF doesn't really like to go to bars or clubs, so he'd usually stay home. But for dinners and parties, he'd join me and my friends)

Hot Toddy said...

You will find a SO in the next 13 days. Then you will talk about how sure you are that it is something that will last forever. Then you will join in with my other partnered friends and tell me that I have to just be patient, and you'll forget that I have already been there - done that (LTR) and that I know how it is supposed to work, and I'll start to resent you, and we'll have strained little conversations, and you'll stop going out to the bar with me because you are coupled. At least, that is how it would go in my imagination. I really can't comment since I have no life experience in this arena.

Jess said...

People are different. Marc and I sometimes like to go out, but we also like spending time at home. IMHO, if you find Mr. Right, you'll love spending time at home with him. Not that there won't be fights or difficult times, but, in most cases, spending time with him should be the best thing you can do.

But that doesn't mean you can't still go dancing. Oh, and about the single friends vs. couples thing, we have single friends (you, for instance) and friends who are couples.

epicurist said...

Not really sure... I tend to be quite social, so i try to balance things out, whether my SO is with me or not. Besides, I am far from a connoiseur at relationships, so WTF do I know?